Friday, August 25, 2006

I have a lump in my throat

I have a lump in my throat. No, it’s not the thyroid, I am sad because my Khala and cousin left. I, hastily clad in my ugly black jacket and lovely purple scarf, over my yellow pajamas, stood outside as they piled in the car. One of the two old servants threw water on their car, for good luck on their journey. I fought off tears then and now I’m in my room, perhaps not fighting the tears now.

When they came, it was like a family vacation, laughter over tea, gifts, inside jokes and the special fits of giggles that only come with family. I showed them Kabul, they saw me lose my temper with others (I have to work on that), and they took care of me when my shaking got worse.

I came home every night, walked through the dingy door and was met with kisses, gifts and my fun family.

Shukur, I have a great family but it’s so hard to be away from them. Even when I’m in the U.S., we’re scattered to different places in a way that only refugees are. When we see each other, we are infected with our parents’ joy, they dance and laugh and tease. Happy to see each other again.

Life is odd, after spending their lives growing up together and starting families, homes side by side, they spent another 30 years far away, punctuated by phone calls and hectic visits to celebrate funerals and weddings. They are the roots of my culture and I feel bereft, in my homeland, without them.

And now, I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. Shukur, that they are in my life.

Bye Khala, Bye M. Safar Bakhair.

4 comments:

omg said...

I like the idea of throwing water on the car...

Sorry to hear your family has left. I am ready, at any time, to exercise my rights as a member of your internet family. We'll laugh and tease and giggle and tell inside jokes. Have you heard the one about the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man and a half-eaten pickle?

imperial sugar land said...

Dear KadduGul,

Your words are moving. I feel the lump; I feel the pain of watching them drive away; I feel I am there with you. I wish I were.

You are much loved. And when you find yourself separated by countries and oceans from those you wish you could reach out and touch, just remember that we, too, feel the sorrow of the distance between us.

You are remembered. And you are missed. May you stay safe and healthy and may you keep the strength and courage that brought you to your homeland. We are proud of that strength and courage.

with much love and peace,
SP

imperial sugar land said...

OMG beat me to the first response!! I won't say I'm competitive, but I think this means Home In Kabul needs to do another post and I challenge OMG to the first response time :)

Are we on?

I'm feeling particularly confident now that I've brought my coconut eating niece over to my side! Bring it on OMG...

homeinkabul said...

ahaha O, you're so funny. Pasty-white is all I remember...

ISL - thanks for the kind words. I feel blessed to have y'all as my friends.

I bet O will take you on...