Friday, December 29, 2006

It's just...uff (Please be ready, this is a vent)

I'm way over the whole health thing. I am. I'm tired of aches and pains, cramps in my neck and legs in the middle of the night, sharp jabbing pain in the back of my head- headaches, sweaty palms (yes, sweaty palms - it makes it hard to type), sinus-like headaches, bad posture (I'm working on sitting up straight but it's hard to sit up straight), weak arms where it hurts to do basic yoga poses that I took for granted before and...and...I'm tired of dealing with it.

I really did think that starting the synthroid would fix everything. But eh, not so much. I feel better, not as cold all the time but head sometimes feels like it's going to collapse inwards and that's a bit grody.

I did yoga this morning and went for a run in the hopes that I won't cramp up tonight. Coming to the realization that I won't magically get better on my own, that I'll actually have to devote some time, energy and thought to my health is disconcerting.

I'm trying to be thankful but it's just a new feeling - to think about what I can do today and what I can't do.

Enough of that, I need to get over this 'why me?' crap. Why not me? I ran this morning and shukur, I have enough energy to do that. I couldn't even consider it 2 weeks ago. This headache will go away, Inshallah, and perhaps this is just a sign for me to slow down. At least I'm somewhere where I can slow down.

Yes, so sorry about that. Eid is tomorrow, Inshallah! An Early Eid Mubarak to everyone! I have a special Eid post planned but let's see if it gets written...


Frida World said...

I am just sitting here inspired by the fact that you are still getting up to run, and getting on your mat to do the yoga. I've got stuck in a horrid cycle where I think that my body is too stiff, sore and weak to do any yoga or running, so I do none, so my body gets worse. I'm not even really sick, just over-tired I suspect. So my only advice is to be kind to yourself, to congratulate yourself for every effort you make to get better (and when the best effort is to rest more then congratulate yourself for doing that.) I hope you have a happy Eid despite all this.

homeinkabul said...

Frida, Thank you - you're very kind. I skipped it this morning so I'll let you know what happens...You're right, I should be more kind to myself. and you should do the same. :)

Happy Eid to you too!

omg said...

Ack. I hope you feel better. I'm ready for you to fell better. And yes, you have to know when to put forth the effort and when to rest, and that's sometimes the hardest thing.

Side-note: hubby recently sent me the article of some study that said reclining at 135 degrees is actually better for your back than sitting with posture straight up, at 90 degrees. This is good news for loungers everywhere. But it doesn't really help me as my problem is hunching forward.

chaoyang said...

ack. (I like the sound of that - it conveys such distraught emotions of something not being right - and it sounds like a duck.)

um.. that's all i have to say.