Thursday, November 30, 2006
I'm okay though.
The weather is cold and it feels like it's sinking into my bones. My thyroid, I think, has completely slowed down and I feel every symptom (sensitivity to cold, insomnia, fatigue, muscle cramps, weakness). In fact, I took a bucket bath last night and started to cry because I was so cold. I'm not a wuss. Well, I am. But not this much.
It'll be good to get checked out and hopefully start the medicine.
I'm leaving for the U.S. soon. It was hard to make my decision to study for the bar exam in the U.S. I did a special prayer (Istekhara) to ask for guidance. I had a dream that I interpreted to mean that I should let go of my idealized notions about working here. There has been too much angst about my coming to Afghanistan. I need to learn how to relax, work hard and enjoy. 'Live in the along' per Gwendolyn Brooks.
So I should be leaving in about a week or so, Inshallah.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Seeing these pictures makes me want to stay. But alas, the bar exam beckons.a view of our ahem, trail. Actually, I don't know if we walked up this part.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I don't feel ready to post right now, but here are some links that I've been reading:
Shabana's blog - I've always been interested in Sufism but to see it in daily practice, has made it more realistic to me.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Still plugging away. I think I'll go back to the U.S. to study for the bar. It's too hard here. I'm in the process of telling everyone. It's sad but it feels necessary and the right thing to do. I'll be back in Kabul by March, Inshallah.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
If I were not African, I would, after watching the coverage, think of Africa as a place of magnificent wild animals in which black Africans exist as tour guides, or as a place of desperately poor people who kill or are killed by one another for little or no reason.
I'd like to write more, but I think the author captures it.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I'm in Kabul, it was a nice trip back. I wrote a long detailed email about what I did yesterday and so now I don't feel like re-writing it.
Thursday afternoon: Arrived in Kabul, no drama b/c my Khala called her nephew and he ushered me through the airport.
Thursday evening: Family came to visit. Lots of fun.
Friday: Slept until 11 am (after a long night of sporadic sleep). Went to brunch/lunch, then to watch Buzkashi.* It was fun, especially the part where the horses would come rushing through the crowd. Well, more of an adrenalin rush than anything but still fun.
I usually try to avoid big groups of Afghan males. When I was here three years ago, it was unheard of for a female to come to sporting matches and etc. I went anyway and it was fine. Everyone was busy watching the buzkashi match and there were plenty of foreigners (one guy was even participating in the match!), so no one bothered us.
I was a little uncomfortable at the end, when waiting for our friends' car to come pick them up. Their car was late, and young, adolescent males started to surround them. I started to freak out, though they were admirably calm. Nothing happened and I didn’t have a chance to find out how they felt about it.
Then we went to Nader Shah Tapa (Tapa Maranjan), where the former king's mausoleum is and Afghans, mostly men, fly kites. We ate popcorn while one member of our party went through 7 kites. No one bothered us until we (5 girls and 1 guy) went to the mausoleum part. I noticed men starting to congregate. I got nervous and we hightailed it out of there to the open space. We rejoined our friend who was still flying his kites.
I’ve decided that if local Afghan men have other entertainment, they are fine and don’t bother women. But if they have nothing else to do, then women become the entertainment.
Then, we had an early dinner at the Lebanese restaurant. And then I went to visit another family member where I had dinner again.
*We can discuss Buzkashi and Kite-fighting some other time. I have read many articles about how violent it is and how it demonstrates how violent of a people we are...but I don't necessarily agree.